Today's Morning: An Unstable Thought

~Tapas Sarkar

Like an other morning I woke up today but not with indulgence of any dream, rather naturally. This morning is in a way different, little hopeful and bright. Almost every morning I wake up early, arrange my bed, sweep my room, take my brush, get utensil cleaned and finally sit on my tool chair setting on the Zee news on my phone accordingly to my routine, and the tea cup remains untouched until it gradually gets cold. This morning I was watching Zee news too but I could not keep watching for a long as usal I do. I suddenly switched off the news and left the phone on bed. I was sitting unspoken, so silent and cogent. Keeping my phone aside I was thinking, I was thinking blank. The thinking was too subtle to understand what actually I was thinking. Then a feeling of conversation hit my heart but I was fearing to speak to someone lest I miss those sounds outside. Though I was not sure how beautiful or sweet those vibrations were. I closed my eyes. Cricket sounds I heard first but I could not discern where those sounds were coming from, whether from my own room or from outside. Then my ear grasped a sound of tailorbird chirping repeatedly outside my window. I looked outside and noticed a cuckoo flying away cooing thrice. I kept thinking. I kept thinking not conceiving what actually I was thinking. I kept mum. I heard a new born heifer crying from someone's house as it's mother is tied somewhere far away. I heard playing voice of some happy children. I kept thinking. I heard neighbors talk of some morning works, I heard them clearly. I kept thinking. Still I could not perceive what actually I was thinking. I did even not try. I just kept thinking blankly as far as I could. There was no way to leave this process as there was no any interest and intension to avoid this. The process of thinking was felt strong, unavoidable till the strong struck of the wall clock hit my ears second time and second time. The crunching hits of the tubewell pump blew in my ear for third time and the grunting sound of a passing by motorcycle for fourth time collapsed on my head. Now something different happened, I woke up again. I stopped thinking in late speed and turned my head when my mom called me to have a cup of tea. I sat off the tool and took the tea. Mama approached her love saying "Do You Want Muri (fried rice)?" I humbly answered "Yes Ma."

 

This is the first morning I am taking warm tea, and watching news again, hearing the crickets, tailorbirds, cuckoo and the heifer. The children who are outside playing happily, to them I can relate my childhood yet vividly. The neighbors who are talking so living and real, with them I can remember our yesterday conversations. And here, this morning, a soft taste of a marie biscuit I eager to bite. This is too much anxious to sip warm tea  so pleasantly and consciously, and I am thankful, I am grateful to all those sounds and vibrations.